The Aftermath

I had the house party. It was supposed to start at 8 but people didn’t arrive till 9-9.30 due to the buggered tube network..that thing always seems to be experiencing “planned delays” and for some reason the plan the delays to co-incide with the most frustrating times. So, the people arrived, if a little later than expected.

There was about 60 people who came..it was quite a lot, I have to admit. Even I was a bit gob-smacked at the sheer volume of space they took up; i’ve never seen my house so full. There were people in the goggle-box room (which doubled as a dance floor), the breakfast room (which doubled as a bar), the kitchen and out in the garden (which doubled as a smokers paridise/place for drunken people). So basically, there were people everywhere.

Only after I had had the house party, at about 4pm, did the actual facts sink in. I’d had 60 people in my house, had loud music on, not got the place trashed and I think, I think and hope really hard that people had a good time. I was rushed off my feet constantly having to deal with idiots at the door, drunk people I didn’t know and only occasionally joing in a conversation for 5 minutes before being called to the next crisis. And I never even had time to roll a joint. No time to roll a joint at my own bloody party! What is the world coming to?!

Many gossip’s happened last night, many of which are nonsequential, many more which are reasonably remarkable. Noodle, a very close friend of mine had a recent flame semi-reignited and said flame got rather aggressive towards the drunken bean-spiller. A friend of Noodle’s revealed what noodle believes to be her “true self” as she was seen walking in from the bottom of the garden with a guy and then (although the chronology of this account may be slightly out) she was seen on the balcony doing some kind of a topless strip tease for four guys who don’t even go to the Education Establishment (E-Est.). Unfortunately I think Noodle is right.

AND another thing also happened. Gosh, lots of things that are remark worthy happened but I think I’ll save the details as it may get tedious. I had no overall vibe from the party as I was so busy but I fucking well wish I did. I want to know if people had fun, whether or not there was a good socialble atmosphere, what they thought of the general vibe, I was to know everything..but instead I know B-A. It’s nagging at my brain and I’ve tourtured The GF by getting her to re-count every single detail that could possibly help me but to no avail.

I also said to her; “I feel like I’m falling in love with you” to which she answered “so do I.”

And I do. I feel…like she is so special to me, like no-one else could ever beat her because she’s so perfect in every way, even in her imperfections, I look at her and I want to wrap my arms around her so we can be in a cocoon together but I also want her to shine, to be the person I know she can be, to grow in confidence and to be happy and I know that wrapping her up isn’t going to help with that. I only want the best for her.

In the past 2 months the relationship we’ve developed has intensified ten fold. I feel as though I different person stands before me when I see her now. She will talk to me, confide in me and ask me direct questions (occasionally) which is a huge U-turn from how it was during the summer.

It’s only just kicked in how lucky I am to have someone like her in my life, it all seems to have just flowed and there’s been little time for rejection.