"I love you"

We were out with friends on friday night and got rather drunk..and a bit stoned too. I was sitting and talking with the GF and, maybe it was the weed, but i felt so comfortable and cosy, like despite the horrible blaring metal music and under-age clientele, i was floating away on some happy plane. OK, it almost definately was the weed. But even if it was, it happened. I was thinking about bringing love into the conversation and before i knew it the words just popped out "i love you" and, straight after, she said; "i love you too."

It's strange though, i love her but i don't love her. I'm not in love with her, but i love her like i do one of my closest friends. If something were to happen to her i'd be devastated. Right now i'm wrapped in this lovely little blanket of normality and i can't imagine things changing so i have no idea how i'd react if something out of the ordinary happened. If we broke up i don't think i'd be able to believe it..

Today was the first day i was on a till all by my lonesome. At first i was shaking. But then the nerves subsided and i was able to enjoy the mudnane nature of my work. At one point i couldn't see the end of the que for my check-out, that was when the stress levels peaked. I secretly thought to myself "why the FUCK do they choose to put me on the busiest till. It's not FAIR. There are people just standing around, why can't i do that!? Why do they get paid to mill around doing bugger all and i have to sit here with an aching shoulder smiling falsely at mean, posh customers and have a spazz every time the till beeps loudly in my face saying i've done something wrong. WHY?!" And of course this train of thought was curbed as the till started beeping angrily once more. But now i've learnt to silence it. MWAH HA HA! I win!