My head of year has a phrase and that phrase she likes to repeat, weekly, in our Monday morning assemblies. That phrase is "Right people! It's know thy self time." For the past month she's said it, in increasing frequency and now it has reached its maximum. I don't think she could have spent any more time attempting to emphasise her point if she tried.
The entire hour was devoted to emphasising the "know thy self" theme which she has been persueing for the past month. But not in the nice, conventional sense. Oh no. We were not lucky enough to recieve the censored version. We got the full frontal rant that lasted for 45 minutes. And was followed by a "know thy self" activity.
Essentially, the message was; you lot (all of you but 20) are going to fail. And you don't seem to care about it. And time has very almost run out for you to change things as there is only 6 weeks left until exams, so, you need to realise that. You need to know yourselves.
Now, of course, me being a reasonably intelligent girl, well, i at first thought this was not directed at me. And then i thought a little harder and, well, the "know thy self" penny kind of dropped. Or, put it this way, the penny was up there at the top of the Eiffel Tower and i was down there at the bottom, my fingers in my ears. It was dropped, gained speed and reached maximum velocity just before smashing into my head, splitting it in two. It shattered my illusion that i was doing enough work into a thousand tiny little pieces and effectively ruined the rest of my day. Which was not fun.
And it made me cry a little. It is an incredibly depressing truth, furthered only by the even more terrifying reality that is January module results day. Friday. That, i really am dreading. I really, really, do not want to know what i got. I am happy in my blissful ignorance..oh gosh..the tears are coming again. It scares me so deeply because if all does not go to plan and i do not get 90% then there are well and truly are no more chances. There is nothing i can do. The dream is over. So if i do badly now, then i'm super fucked for the june exams. And by bad, i don't mean 45% i mean anything short of 80% because anything short of 80% will mean i'm fucked. And me being fucked would be a very, very, bad thing for me. Because i'd..well, i wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't have anything to do. It would be a disaster.
So..i think i'm allowed to be slightly shitting myself about these results.
But at least i "know myself." Socrates would be proud.
Essentially, the message was; you lot (all of you but 20) are going to fail. And you don't seem to care about it. And time has very almost run out for you to change things as there is only 6 weeks left until exams, so, you need to realise that. You need to know yourselves.
Now, of course, me being a reasonably intelligent girl, well, i at first thought this was not directed at me. And then i thought a little harder and, well, the "know thy self" penny kind of dropped. Or, put it this way, the penny was up there at the top of the Eiffel Tower and i was down there at the bottom, my fingers in my ears. It was dropped, gained speed and reached maximum velocity just before smashing into my head, splitting it in two. It shattered my illusion that i was doing enough work into a thousand tiny little pieces and effectively ruined the rest of my day. Which was not fun.
And it made me cry a little. It is an incredibly depressing truth, furthered only by the even more terrifying reality that is January module results day. Friday. That, i really am dreading. I really, really, do not want to know what i got. I am happy in my blissful ignorance..oh gosh..the tears are coming again. It scares me so deeply because if all does not go to plan and i do not get 90% then there are well and truly are no more chances. There is nothing i can do. The dream is over. So if i do badly now, then i'm super fucked for the june exams. And by bad, i don't mean 45% i mean anything short of 80% because anything short of 80% will mean i'm fucked. And me being fucked would be a very, very, bad thing for me. Because i'd..well, i wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't have anything to do. It would be a disaster.
So..i think i'm allowed to be slightly shitting myself about these results.
But at least i "know myself." Socrates would be proud.
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