Flacid

We broke up. We'd been tgether for over a year, i'd moved away and she was in london. It was always going to end but now it has. And there's nothing like the cold harsh touch of reality to bring it all home.

I'm not going to say i didn't want this to happen, or that it's completely out of the blue, because it's not. I'd wanted to break up when we went to university. Then we went to university and i bottled it. During freshers week i thought it would be alright, that we could maybe manage, and then i realised how unhappy i was with the situation. How..compressed i felt. I'm a logical person; i'm going to be here for 7 years, she's going to be in london for 3, what kind of a relationship is that? It's basicaly not a relationship. Basically.

I'm not torn up; i didn't love her in that way. I feel like a flacid penis, just after sex. All the fun and enjoyment and orgasm has happened and now it's gone. And there is the recovery period. Where nothing much happens; you just mourn over the sudden burst of elation which is now past, never to be recaptured. Those moments, they are what is gone. And i can't get the back.

So, i sit here..with what? My flacid body. I sit here, alone, with my flacid body.