University

I have not blogged in two days. I have been conscious of this fact, however, and i am attempting to rectify the situation. It was not because i didn't want to blog, but because i didn't have time/was very tired and didn't feel like waxing lyrical about a random encounter. I did, however, write an abstract piece in my notebook, which i suppose could be considered a form of experession. That is what i'm attempting to do, to express myself, coherantly, every day.

Today, i awoke at 1 pm after ignoring my alarm more than several times. I pissed around for a while, and then i went to the library. I returned from the library at 11.30. Yesterday i left the library at the same time, it's the time when they close off all the normal area's and leave open only the general one's which contain no books but only "study spaces." When they advertised 24 hour opening i assumed the entire library would be open, alas, this is not the case. The medical section is not open during the night. The medical area is where i usually study, when there is no space in the more romantic literature/law section which overlooks a lawn and has large sprawling desks which you can lay at least half a dozen text books on. Perhaps tomorrow, as the case i'm going to attempt to cover is longer and slightly more challenging, i will have to move to the general area when they announce the specialist areas are closing.

It was very strange, today, walking into the library and hearing conversations occuring in the stairwells. Usually the stairwells are deserted. I know this becuase i am a frequent inhabitant of the library. I love it. I have even given it a pet name; Mr X. Personally, i find it easier and more effective if the environment in which i am studying is completely seperate to the environment in which i live. This is because the environment in which i live allows me to wander in thought about my mind. Inevitably, music is always playing. When music is playing i have many an urge to get up and dance. This is what usually happens if i attempt to study in my room. I just dance around like a looney and get no work done. Obviously, when frequenting Mr X's House, you can not dance around like a looney as there are other people present. The emphasis at Mr X's is to work. And i very much revel in that emphasis. It was even stranger, to walk into Mr X's and find every "study space" [essentially a posh word for a desk] taken. Literally. I had never seen so many people in the library in my entire time of attendance. I felt like my personal space had been invaded, almost. It was most irritating.

Li is back. He is wonderful but most destructive. He has already missed a deadline for an assessed essay and is under the impression that he will fail the year and get a skilled non-manuel labour job in September. I felt like giving him a big slap in the face. The twat. But i love him, very much. He is my fellow misfit.

Li and I were discussing, amougst many other things, my relationship with Hg. For some reason, i'd always thought the whole thing had happened and then burned out again in three weeks. This was probably because PBL[proper] hadn't started until a month after we'd arrived. The whole escapade had in fact lasted over two months. Essentially, the whole of semester 1. I'd not realised that. That's probably why i was struggling with what the basis of our friendship was, as, essentially, there wasn't really a basis scratch attraction.

Li and I went out on a futile search to find a pub that was open at 2am. We ended up going to spar and buying some cans instead [and tampons as i'm running low, Li was generous enough to buy them for me as i had no change]. I do love him. I love him very much. He and Hg do not get along. But once, during what i used to remember as Freshers Week, but now in hindsight it was probably the month during which i had no PBL, we were in my room and somehow, due to our drunkeness and my wanting to cuddle someone, we all ended up in my bed. Together, the three of us. He said he couldn't stretch his arms out properly because of the shirt he was wearing and i undid his cuffs to allow him to stretch his arms saying; "you're not the only one that's a scar factory." The three of us in a very small single bed. And then everyone else came in from a night out somewhere. That was a fun evening. We used to stay up until 4am drinking cheap red wine and smoking roll up cigarettes in my room, the three of us. I don't know why Hg doesn't like Li anymore.

I want to be a rastafarian fairy doctor.