Early Experience

They, as in, the Medical School, send us on early experience visits to various hospitals and GP practices around the city. These visits are rather hit and miss, but always worthwhile, even if the learning objectives aren't really addressed and you end up doing something completely different from what you're supposed to be, like just talking and observing the most mind numbing procedures possible, as it's all experience in a medical setting..getting used to interacting in a professional environment. I feel as though it's an ebbingly constant reminder of why we're doing what we're doing.

My clinical partner, CaCO3, who i get along with really well [and who i secretly think is the best medic i've met and had the opportunity to interact with so far, excluding the medics i've met in social situations -he even found this story involving Happy Pill usage funny, which is saying something as some people can be QUITE anal about these things-] and i interviewed a woman, initially, who was, medically, quite boring. Afterwards i had the sinking feeling and the dread of it being another un-stimulating session but a nurse approached us almost immediately afterwards as we were milling around and asked us if we needed any help. I asked if there was anyone that we could interview and she replied 'anyone in particular?' so, on a whim [and also as i really didn't fancy another static interview] i replied 'someone interesting?' and she directed us to bed 20; 'don't mind the chains.'

H, was guarded by two prison guards, chained to the female one. A heavy metal handcuff was around her wrist connected to a 2m long industrial chain and at the other end sat a prison officer reading heat magazine also with a heavy metal cuff around her wrist. The male guard sat on the other side of the bed, to her right. It was certainly a scene to walk into..i'd kind of assessed it whilst walking over to the bed but long legs mean long strides and i'm not exactly one who prethinks the words that come from my mouth so by the time i was at the side of the bed i had to speak.

I don't think initially i made eye contact, because i didn't really know where to look. My memories are always of me observing myself, so trying to recall doesn't help. I think my sight was directed at the bed, or her shoulders..any place but her eyes. It definately didn't encompass the guards at any time. I introduced myself, waited for CaCO3 to do the same, asked if it was possible to speak to her and then we sat down. I went briefly through the confidentiality element and then we started talking about her condition.

Medically, it was fascinating; she was on numerous treatments, all of which were incredibly interesting and administered in different ways having different points of action. Humanly, it was amazing, truely amazing. Talking to someone from such a different background, having such a different experience of life but so willing to share so many aspects of it was the most invaluble learning opportunity i've encountered so far.

It was sad though, very, very sad as her condition was not going to get better..it was a case of maintaining the current state of health and attempting to stop it worsening. There was a moment, which could have gone very badly ending in an incredibly awkward silence but it didn't. She had to have a subcutainious drip through which a bronchiodilating drug was constantly pumped 24/7 attatched to her body. Essentially, the drug being pumped is what prevented her airways collapsing..what prevented her dying. She started talking about not wanting the drip and her mother being poorly..at the time, the cogs in the back of my mind whirred and i think i made the connection, despite not knowing how severe the consequences of living without the drip were, that something had to be said and then the subject diverted as we couldn't continue down that path. It leads to bad places when you are 19 and know next to nothing about the medical profession. But the problem you face is where to change it to and how to do it. If you don't reciprocate and respond to their previous scentance you damage the rapore but if you do reciprocate you risk going down a path that is way above your head. The trick is; knowing what to say. It sounds easy, it's fucking hard. A-L-L E-A-R-S may help but doesn't give you the exact words needed to reciprocate when someone is basically telling you that their life is shite and they want to refuse medical treatment.

In hindsight i'm quite proud of what i said; 'you've got to have hope.' As with a lot of what i say, like when i talk about injustice, i get rather passionate. There's body language, hand wavin and stuff. She reciprocated the hand gestures. I think then the nurse came round and re-inserted the drip oncemore.

I said before i felt like i was getting better at this conversation business, i really think it's true.

If everyday was like today i would gladly wake up at 6.30 am