Results

Results are back from the January exams. I do not want to know. I want to and will attempt, to live on in blissful ignorance for as long as i can. Because, if i think about it, then i start to cry. So i don't think about it. If i revieve them, apart from forcing me to think about it, if they are bad, thats it. It's over. Finished. No more Dr Belle. Thats what scares me so much, thats why, whenever i start thinking about the results, i start to cry.

There are, of course, ways around it, but Medical schools specify that each A-level taken is achieved in a single sitting. Last year i fucked up. And my AS scores are not as good as they could have been. So i could re-take a module in Chemistry in June and hope that the University accepts the circumstances that caused the poor grades in the summer exams. And i could, if the Extended Essay is marked harshly, sit an exam on the same module in RE. But it is fiddly and could still result in a rejection on the grounds that i didn't achieve the grades in a single sitting.

Nat called me whilst i was with the GF, in tears. She had just recieved a set of results. Two AS re-takes and an A2 module; UEU. Everyone, it seems, has done poorly.

If i don't do well in the January exams i'll never meet the conditions of my offer. And the worst thing is knowing that, knowing, even before you've sat another load of fucking exams, that it is impossible for you to follow your dream.