In an Effort

In an effort to sort my thoughts out and try to regain some kind of control over where my mind wanders off to i'm trying to blog more.

So, what have i done today? I went to a lecture then had PBL (similar to a seminar group). And then i came back here and worked for a little bit, i did the online learning thing (which is absolutely pointless) and got 4/4 which is good as last time i got 1/4, then i tried to do some anatomy work. It is very boring and unhelpful, when trying to study the male reproductive system, having never seen a penis or scrotum in your life and studying from a text book with a difinitive lack of pictures. So i resorted to Wikipeadia.

Something that may be a little strange; i prefer to sit and listen to music than to watch something online, like a television programme or a film. I'll sit for an hour or so, listen to music, smoke some cigarettes and maybe look out the window a little. I find it gives me space to think. I also prefer listening to music than reading a paper for the same reason. It seems i have a large desire to think but lack a definate concrete diagnosis of exactly what i think about.

The 400 medics are split into PBL groups of roughly 12 people each with whom you study each PBL case with. Each PBL group is allocated 4 "Mummies and Daddies", second years who are supposed to guide and look after you. On the first medics social, where all the 1st years and their Mummies and Daddies went out for a curry (which is most definately not as tame as it sounds - imagine 400 football hooligans without the love of football, a little more respect for others and a good education crammed into a massive curry house playing endless rounds of drinking games) and i got very pissed. But to be fair everybody was pissed. The point is, i ended up talking to one of our Mummies about how i used to self harm, because it kind of was the best thing to do, as i'm not going to walk around scared anymore...so she is, well, i don't know what she is. But she'd perhaps be able to give me some moral support in approaching someone for help.

That's essentially what i was thinking. So i might talk to her.

In other, more uplifting news, or just a statement of a very stupid action, either way it's quite funny, i may perhaps be meeting up with an old "love" interest. For one reason only. And she is quite hot, so that may go very well. The only thing is her personality, but that can be ignored for the sake of what will probably happen.

I decided to because i need to start thinking of myself and not others. For over a year i was joined to another person and now maybe its time to just be myself for a while. And if that involves sleeping with hot people, well, all the better. Because it has been a while since the last time!

We'll see how things go, what happens and why. Either way it'll be a positive as all experiences are.