Well, at least it's productive porcrastination

I thought to myself i'd write this blog to attempt to roll up to writing some notes on the thyroid, growth hormone and its effects on the adolescent body. It's so fun, really.

So, what happened last night is most definitely worth blogging about, if just for pure comic value. There i was, after i'd done the work i'd set myself for that day, and i had some weed left over from the weekend (which i'd decided to make a little holiday as i went to York to visit a friend. Change of geographical location most definately constitutes a holiday) and so i thought i might just smoke some. Well, i thought that when i came back on Sunday, and i thought of the same consequences but unfortunately on Sunday Lush Girl (LG, she now has a pseudo name) and I didn't spend any time alone together. Simply because of circumstance; people were always around and in my room, i kind of invited everyone in inadvertantly as i (and others) wanted to smoke but could not smoke in the kitchen (for obvious reasons).

So, along came monday and with only a tiny bit left i knew that i had to do something. Otherwise the moment would pass and then never come again. So, after smoking some, and drinking some whisky which LG bought, and waiting until it was time to go to bed so i could go in her room and smoke (as the window in my room won't open so i can't smoke in here anymore. it's an Official Piss Take) and then taking up S's offer on him leaving to give us some "alone time" i finally actually managed to get some real live alone time with her.

As the song [Stagger Lee by Nick Cave] was playing through till the end, my cigarette was burning closer to the filter, i realised that it really was now or never. And that put the pressure on just that little bit more. She started cleaning like a mad thing, which i'd never seen her do, so i waited until she'd sat down. And then, as i was in my own wonderful hazy stoner bubble, i looked at her for a while smiling. She asked "What?", several times i think, and i started laughing.

"I know we've spoken about this already, but i really like you"

And she just sat there. With an "i don't know what to do" expression spread over her face, arms and shoulders. And i thought; "fucking hell girl, is that all you can give me? Not even a positive or negative, just a blah which is bloody impossible to interpret. Cheers for helping me out here!"

So then we talked for a bit, about "what she's supposed to do" and then after a while it was said that she'd just like to be friends, or something of that sort. It was not, however, her immediate reaction.

And then i said, here's the punch line, the best line of them all; [now thinking about it i can't quite remember the order, whether i said this first and then she said friends or vice a versa] "Can i kiss you?"

It, unfortunately, wasn't like in the movies. I was stoned and just had to say it because i'd been thinking it for the entirity of the previous minute. So i said it. And she was like; "why?" and then i was like, because then i'll know. And she was like; "how will that help you know?" So we had a rather long talk about how it would help me know. Which, may, i admit, be slightly romanticised but i still hold it to be true; you can tell if someone is attracted to you from a kiss. There will be chemistry there..i hope at least, because if not then i'll never really know. But basically, a kiss would be closure. I'd know then. But she wouldn't let me kiss her. Her arguement was that it would ruin our friendship. BOLLOCKS. I'm sorry, but it's just a kiss. Kissing doesn't ruin anything; it makes it better. It's fun kissing people. It would most definately ruin our friendship if we shagged, and i fully admit that. But a bit of a snog?

Anyway, fastforward half an hour and we're still talking about the same thing but it's going round in circles and was quite frustrating. This was about 2am and both her and i wanted to go to bed but i couldn't just leave as i knew it wouldn't be talked about again so i feilded her demands for my leaving. It's not like that was the first time people had occupied her room when she'd wanted to go to bed.

Then something strange happened; i think i may have said "we never talk" and then she explained how she finds it hard to talk to people. And promised that we would talk, but tomorrow, or the next day. Then suggested she should get drunk..as people talk when they're drunk. Oh what stylish lives we lead. As students. Drinking Strongbow Super [7.5% proof] or The Cheapest Whisky The Shop Has. And then, collapsed on the bed said, after glancing at the calender on her wall; "I'll kiss you by Sunday."

So! By Sunday i will know. Which is both brilliant and fucking halarious! And i might even get a proper meaningful conversation out of her too. It's so comical to me that my facebook status reads; Belle has until Sunday. And thinks its bloody halarious.

I suppose this is one way of going about courting.