Results

The exam results came out today, posted online.

When i arrived to the pharmacology practical everyone had checked and there were no sad faces, thank goodness. I asked if everyone had passed and they had. I specifically asked if everyone had passed as the sharing of results can be turn into a passive aggressive blag fest if the wrong people are present. I wasn't even tempted to check my results, there and then, in front of everyone. If they had been bad it would have been dreadful, i would have broken down in tears in front of my entire PBL group and 4 others, like another girl did after foolishly checking hers. I felt for her, i really did.

I got a satisfactory in the semester 1 test and an honors in the progress test. All others i know passed in various other ways. I am so pleased, when walking out the lab i couldn't stop smiling the widest smile i'd smiled in the past week. It was most definately a stoner smile. I had my grin right on.

It's such a relief, it's as if i've been given a pat on the shoulder, i've been told; "Yes, it's alright. You are good enough to be here." I think everything now seems a lot easier, i feel as though the first thought i ever had when i came here; 'you're not good enough, you don't belong' has been well and truly eradicated. I feel i am well on my way to being a Doctor. I feel now i have [i would have said paper but, we are in the 21st century] online proof that the self belief i derived from somewhere deep inside myself is justified.

I feel as though my boots have reinforced steel heels that will never wear down.